today

today is the middle of a pretty darn good week-unit.
I am happy today. :) Today was Momease and like Momease a lot. Mark H spoke and he answered a bunch of questions that were very interesting! Tonight is Singles' Group and I enjoy that too!

I just got finished making a schedule of my kid's life and it is pretty funny...especially her bedtime routine. It's ridiculous!! But it works pretty well, so whatever, I guess.

Here it is in all it's OCD ridiculous glory

Lucy has to be in bed BY 8:30. - At 8:30/8:45 the window slams shut, and she'll be awake til 11.
Routine:

-go potty, change diaper, brush teeth, jammies.

-Read a few stories

-Turn off light, say prayers, then a short sweet rundown of the day ("we went to ____, that was fun, huh?”, "Did you have fun?”, “Now Lucy has to go to sleep so we can have fun tomorrow!” “Everyone’s going to sleep”, etc)

-hugs, more prayer, pacifier and doggie, more hugs, lay down.

-She will ask for another hug after you've tucked her in - give it to her then tuck her in again.

-Be sure to tuck in her toes -fold blanket under her feet. Give her doggie, green bunny and other bunny (white one).

-As you close the door, tell her "goodnight, I love you, byebye" and when she askes for more huggies, say no you just gave her huggies and goodnight, and close the door.

-If Gwen goes to bed at the same time, it helps incredibly much.

-If you can convince her that Lizzie and Brad and Gwen and Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Grampa, etc are all going to bed too, then that helps a lot too.

-Then keep it quiet-ish in the living room, she'll sing and talk to herself till she goes to sleep.
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YEP, that's ridiculous. What do you all think?

Ok! off to singles' group for free dinner and some singing and fellowship! wonder what we're eating tonight?

Homeless Octopus

Today I am thankful for:

1. PF Chang's Mongolian Beef
2. Snickers
3. Netflix
4. Paper Shredder
5. The United States Postal Service...cuz you can't email everything.
6. "Alone time" with my hubby. :-D
7. Light bulbs.
8. Foothills.
9. My totally awesome couch.
10. Remote controls.

I don't know what day it is

But I'm still thankful!!
Here's proof!

1. My house is clean!!!

2. My kid is asleep!

3. I made rice krispie treats

4. Our Christmaween party is tonight

5. I finally got invoice sheets from the school Mikey contracts with and now we can get paid for all the lessons he's done!

6. I am feeling SOOO much better (happier) today.

7. My birthday ended up being really happy. :)

8. My husband is going to scrub out the microwave for me today!!

9. Crayon easily comes off my dining room table when I wipe it down!

10. I was able to get my parents a lovely condo for their little getaway this weekend for much cheaper than anything else they could find!

And an extra one for today. :)

11. Gwen. I love her.

Ok today is getting better :)

The day is on the upswing :) The FANTASTIC parent teacher conference definitely helped! :)
My kid got all A's and Excellent Effort. She reads at an 8.6 grade level. She is sweet and amazing and the teachers' favorite! SO PROUD!!!! Thank you God for scheduling that conference for today!!! :)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! I can't wait for my birthday dinner tonight!! :)

Birthday.

BLAH. Why do we even celebrate them? A whole year leading up to this one day and I've been borderline dreading and loving it. Well, today has started off on the dread side. I try so hard not to be depressed and somehow, aside from the facebook prompted birthday greetings, and all of the lovely text messages I've gotten... something about this day just sucks. I desperately want it not to suck!

You know how sometimes you can be in a good mood that's fragile and one bad thing happens and your mood starts tumbling into the bad place? Well, maybe you don't know that feeling. But I do, and I don't like it.
I hate the person I can be. I come across so jerky sometimes and i hate it. why can't i turn that off? I think I need Valium or something.

Anyway, I have turned on some worship music (thank you Pandora), and I am going to write my thankful list.

1. That my kid ONLY has a cold. It could be much worse. Maybe it's allergies like someone suggested.
2. That my memory card from my cell phone wasn't erased like I thought it was.
3. I have more pens and pencils than I know what to do with. Some people don't have even one.
4. Music. It lifts me.
5. My beautiful birthday cards from my kids today. :)
6. That my BFF gave me a 10 person lasagna and garlic bread today!
7. That I'm going to dinner with friends tonight.
8. That my husband is contractually obligated to love me, even when I'm ugly.
9. That someone gave me a beautiful 2011 calendar.
10. That I cleaned out my desk drawer today.

Yep this list is really lame, but it was a hard list to make today. I hate November 10th. I think from now on I skip it.

Happy nonexistent totally unimportant day, everyone.

Day 5

WOW...what a busy weekend! Mud Run on Saturday, then Denny's for dinner for breakfast!
Sunday was church, then lunch at my grandma's, then the worship team dinner, which turned out so great! but wow were we tired after all that!!

OK! Now here's today's list of things I am thankful for!

1. Scrambled eggs...cooked light and fluffy. :)
2. COFFEE!!!
3. My internet is FIXED!! And I *think* my computer is clean now.
4. Our church pastors. They are hilarious, they love God, and they aren't afraid to step on toes.
5. The fact that my wonderful husband loves Jesus. I know so many wives with husbands who don't.
6. My 30th birthday. I'm sort of excited! And I am in the best place I've ever been in my life at birthday time. Praise God!
7. Indoor plumbing. 'Nuff said.
8. My friend Justin. I love him and he loves me and we're buddies and that's awesome.
9. Lucy's awesome way of interpreting language.
10. Hillsong United.

Day 2

Things are looking good in the Best household. It's the beginning of the month, and this month holds great opportunities for growth and enjoyment. I am feeling really good about myself, my family, and my circumstances and that makes for a really happy me.
After coming off of a recent bout with depression, I feel that the haze has lifted, and I am feeling really good. I've been monitoring my cycles, and it seems like there is a cyclical element to how I feel during certain times. Now that I am aware of that, I feel I am better equipped to look for solutions.
Please join me in praying about this.

Now! in efforts to continue the less depressed me, I give you today's list!

1. My extended family. As I talk to my friends, I realize how few people around me have the luxury of having family living around them! It's just always been this way for me. Almost my entire family lives within city limits!! I have two sets of grandparents, lots of aunts and uncles and GREAT aunts and uncles, cousins, parents, siblings... Not to mention my husband has the same! His paternal family lives in other parts of the country, but they come and visit at least once a year! We are SO blessed! We have so many willing babysitters, too! That is such a blessing. It makes me remember not to take them for granted. We are SO blessed.

2. The internet. I know that sounds silly, but being without it most of the time for the last couple weeks due to computer issues makes me realize just how much I use it for yellow pages, networking, recipes, knowledge building, wasting time, etc. I use it so much!

3. Free stuff for my birthday. Everything from free dessert to entirely free meals! Check it out! http://www.frugalliving.tv/free-stuff/birthday-freebies.html

4. Having very little debt. Due to very diligent payments, followed by trying really hard not to pay for things with credit cards, we have very little debt. Dentist bills and things like that come up and we'll use the card for that, but overall, we are very blessed to be mostly in the black.

5. Hank. He is such a great mentor for my husband and I and we love him so much. And no, he doesn't read my blog.

6. WATER. I love water, and obviously my body needs it, so it works out. I am SO thankful that we live in a place that has clean water running freely.

7. Shoes. Cuz the ground hurts.

8. The book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It is amazing and it is changing my life. Read it.

9. Kathy Martin. I love love love her. She speaks to the very depths of my soul with every word that she speaks, and I know that what she speaks is truth.

10. God. I know it seems cliche to say that in a blog like this, but it's true. I wouldn't be who I am without Him. I wouldn't have the positive outlook that I have without Him. He knew me before I even existed. Even BEFORE I was knit together in my mother's womb, He CHOSE me. He DECIDED to bring me into existence to commune with Him. And He sent His only Son to DIE for me so that my sin would not separate me from Him. WHOA! That is amazing to me. I am learning (through "Crazy Love" - READ
IT), that God is not just this obscure, dominating figure up there. He is not only an awe-inspiring King to revere, He is also our Daddy. He wants to have a close, intimate relationship with us. He wants us to revere Him, but He also wants us to climb up into His lap and tell Him stuff. He LOVES us. And that makes me thankful. :)

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What about you? Are you up for the thankfulness challenge? I think you should try it. :)

Thankfulness - Day 1

There are 21 days til Thanksgiving, and I intend to spend them thankfully. I make it a point to be thankful in my everyday life, but there is something special about being purposeful in thankfulness. And, what better time than now? So in light of this month of Thanks, I will be writing down 10 things I am thankful for.

1. My wonderful Husband.
2. My beautiful daughters.
3. My lovely home.
4. The great school Gwen goes to.
5. All of the yummy food we have to eat every day.
6. All of my great friends. :)
7. My Thursday night small group.
8. My awesome new van.
9. Foothills.
10. M&M's

And there you have it. That's what I am thankful for today. :)

Happy November 4th!

Hump Day

I've always thought that title for Wednesday was sorta silly, but it's true. It is the middle day of the week.

So today my neck feels about 97% better! I am so happy about that! Funny enough, yesterday I called and asked my Dr to call in a prescription for more muscle relaxers, and now I don't even need them! But, they don't expire for a long time, so I guess they're good to hold onto. But yeah, I am super happy it didn't take a super long time to heal. :)

I'm still doing the Facebook fast, and short of logging in to ask people to pray for my neck and checking an important email, I have done really well! AND, my house is really clean on top of it! Ah, how much we miss when we're glued to facebook all day!

I went to target today, fully anticipating having to go to the grocery store afterward. I decided to actually pay attention to the prices in the "grocery" section of Target. They are actually really good! I was totally stoked to do a lot of my grocery shopping and get all the other stuff (laundry detergent, paper towels...) in one trip! Woohoo! I LOVE Target. The only thing is, they don't have a huge variety of things, so I have to either not get something or settle for what they have, which is fine.

Today is picture day at Gwen's school... they charge SO much for those stinkin photos and we hardly even give them out! I could just have her get her pic taken for record purposes and not buy pictures, but what if they turn out really great? Some schools send home the proof package and THEN you decide if you want the pictures. I would like that better. Oh well.

Well, I am off to fold the laundry and then tackle the dining room table, which always ends up being the place where people deposit their belongings. I've got to figure out some way to keep it clean. Any suggestions?

Have a great day everyone!

Oh man...

It is going to be SOOO cold in Big Bear next month! We are planning on being there Nov 20-23. The predicted normal high temps for that time are in the low 50's and lows around 24*. OH MY GOSH! That's literally FREEZING! Now I know why it's the Blue (low demand) Season in Big Bear. It's flippin cold!!!

WOW. I'm glad there's a fireplace in the room!

Wish my soon-to-be frost-bitten toes good luck!

How Deep?

How deep is the Father's love for us? Read this blog entry I found and you'll see. He loves us so incredibly truly and deeply. Thinking of Him this way will change your life.
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2008/11/god-thinks-you-rock-casbah.html

Whiplash

I gave myself whiplash last night. I was goofing off with my friend and i lost my balance and fell back onto the floor. Now my entire neck is in spasm and it hurts.

Please pray for me to get better really quickly. :(

**Edited to add: It is now Tuesday, and it's starting to feel a lot better. Still sore and somewhat stiff, but on the upswing for sure. Hopefully the Doctor will heed my request and call in to the pharmacy for a few muscle relaxers for me. That would definitely help me feel better. For now, I'm just trying to relax and have been applying a lot of ice. I think it may be becoming time to start using heat and having Mikey massage my shoulders. We shall see! Please continue to keep me in your prayers. Thanks!

Sattlerday

is what I'd call today if I weren't married. hehe

So, I'm a lot less sick today than I was yesterday, and that makes me happy!

This morning, I sorta slept in, then went and picked up my new (to me) microwave cart. It is SO much nicer than the one we had, and it was only $40! AND the guy threw in a box fan for free! Woohoo!
The one we had is worth like $100, so I'll try to sell it for $50 or something. I don't know.
Then I just kinda had a hang around the house day, did laundry, dishes, cleaned the kitchen and made chili for dinner out of leftover pot roast and it was YUMMY! Not really Chili though, for some reason.
Then I did childcare for church tonight. At one point, EVERY kid was crying! But then it calmed down. And either way, i made some money!
NOW, Lucy's asleep and Mikey and Gwen are at the Strength Team thing at church, so it's chick flick and cookies time for me. Ahhhhh yes. I love relaxing time. :)

Goodnight everyone! Pray for me to finally be able to get this sneeze out! It's been taunting me all day!

I'm sick. :-(

Sniffling, Sneezing, aching, coughing, sore throat.... i might as well be a nyquil commercial. SAD.

Ahhh Friday....

....too bad Lucy's in a craptastic mood. She is happy overall, she is just temper tantrum lady today! Well, we've started using time out in conjunction with spankings, and it is already helping! It's only taking about 1-2 minutes (as it should) to calm her down when she sits in the corner. So we'll see. Maybe she gets overwhelmed and the time out makes her feel better too?

So remember the Solvang trip I told you about? Well it was going to be Thurs to Sun. Mikey asked for Thurs off school and they said "ok that's fine, but you will be here on Friday, right?" and he asked why... Mandatory teacher training. BARF. So, we had to change it. It is now a trip to Big Bear on Sat to Tues, which is still great! I have been to Big Bear and I really liked it, but I was looking forward to a new place. But, I still think it's going to be incredibly relaxing and good for us. PLUS, it's half as many points for the same size room, AND there's no taxes or fees! WOOHOO!

One thing I forgot to mention yesterday was our Christmaween Party! I am really excited about it. So far only 6 people are coming, but they're awesome 6 people, so it's cool. ;) Usually we have a party in Mid-October called the "Christmas Announcement Party". This party signifies the start of the Christmas season for all of the Christmas fanatics we know and love. Sometimes it's at our house, sometimes other people's. This year we were unable to throw it any sooner than Mid-November, and since Halloween is coming so quickly, we decided to combine the two and make a Christmaween party. It's going to be awesome!

And now I have a question for you. Last week two new friends and I were supposed to go have coffee and get pedicures together. One girl got sick, so we had to cancel. Last night, I saw both girls and their newly pedicured feet and found out they had gone together yesterday to get the pedis done, without me. Since I am still figuring out friendships and social dynamics, I figured I should check in with some established friends and see what you all think. I don't want to be offended, but I am definitely bummed out because I really like them and want to get to know them.
What do you think about this?

What's the haps?

The Facebook fast is going good....I have logged in a couple to times to check specific things I needed to know about, and been pretty good at not checking my flags. I have slipped a couple times though. But this fast has been way better for me than the sweets fast was. While I do eat WAY too many sweets, and will be attempting to moderate that more from now on, I wasn't praying or being more productive when I wasn't eating them.
With Facebook out of my life, I am getting more done around the house, connecting better with a friend i frequently email, spending more time with my family, and spending more time with God. It's a good thing. I think after the fast is over, I'm still going to try very hard to only be on facebook when my family isn't around.

I read an article the other day about listening, and it really convicted me. Basically a Mother and her young son were talking about how the dog has lost her hearing and making funny jokes when the son got sad and said he hoped that his Mom didn't lose her hearing when she got older. The Mom asked why and the son said that she already has trouble listening to him sometimes and he doesn't want it to get worse. One example was when she's on the computer and hears that he's talking but doesn't take the time to turn around and really listen. That's devastating to hear, and I know I do it all the time.
I don't want my child to feel that way about me, you know? I mean, even right now as I type, Lucy is eating her lunch and watching a Leapfrog video. Yes, it's educational, and yes, she likes it, but does that make it right? I just don't know. I could be talking to her or reading to her or any other number of things.

So, I am going to try a lot harder to not just be a presence in the room but to be PRESENT with my children. I want them to like spending time with me now AND later. I want our time together to be precious. There's no reason why an email can't wait til they're outside playing or taking a nap, you know?
Anyway, that's what's up with that.

In other news, we're considering adopting a kid. We want probably one more of our own and also want to adopt foster kids but don't know what order to do it in. Right now we are considering adopting first and then having another baby, but aren't sure. The agency we want to work with specializes in placing babies and toddlers, which is what we'd want, and their goal is for their first foster placement to be their only foster placement. Approx 50-60% of foster placements can result in adoption so that's really good odds. The scary part is what if we're in that 40%? How hard would it be to attach to a kid and then have them leave you!? But, if God has our heart leading this way, then I'm sure He would fill that void.

The more I've been thinking about it, I sort of feel like adopting just one kid out of that terrible system isn't enough. There are so many children who need ongoing foster care so they can be reunited with their families eventually. There are so many BAD foster homes. There are kids who need even just one emergency night. I've been wondering if that makes a bigger difference than just rescuing one child. I feel like we have so much love to offer....maybe we can help a lot of children (not all at once, obviously).... Well maybe we adopt one now and then become full time foster parents once our kids are older? I don't know. We are going to be attending an orientation in November with the agency we like to help us figure it all out.
What do you think? Either way, we are SO excited for what our future holds! Psssh I got a minivan, for crying out loud! I might as well fill it up, right? haha

My 30th birthday is coming up...sigh... I sort of feel like it makes me old, but I somehow also feel like it's some sort of rite of passage into adulthood. And somehow, oddly enough, I sort of like it. I NEVER thought I'd hear myself say that. EVER! But for some reason, as my birthday approaches, I feel good about it. I may not be twenty-ten this year, like I thought... I think I'm going to be thirty.
And speaking of, I am going to be a little extravagant this year. Normally I have this weird life-crisis as my birthday approaches. I start thinking about who I'd like to have come to a party or go on a trip with or something, and then when I realize most people are just too busy for a birthday celebration, I get all down on myself and think I have no friends and get into a funk.

WELL, this year, I sort of started down that path and then I yanked myself out of it and decided I was going to do what I wanted to do. And you know what I want to do this year? I want to go out on or near my birthday to my free benihana birthday dinner with a few close friends, and then the week after, my husband is going to take me away on a lovely weekend in teeny little Solvang, CA and we're going to sleep in and eat good food and drink good wine and be tourist trap loving tourists. And it's going to be AWESOME. :) And I am super excited. I wanted to plan some big hullabaloo with a bunch of friends and blah blah blah... and it was not going to be easy! I just wanted a nice quiet easy weekend. Ahhhhhhh.... I can't wait.

The one thing I'm nervous about is leaving Lucy. She likes Mommy and she likes routine... a lot... and I don't know if whoever I leave her with will follow her routine. I am afraid my relaxing weekend will be ruined by coming home to an overtired, stressed-out kid, and I don't like that idea. I am hoping that someone can stay here in our home so that she'll be more comfortable.

But either way, I am really really excited. Our summer was extremely busy and even though the holidays are coming up and we really still have a lot planned, I am feeling more relaxed. A lot of what we have planned was my choice, and that makes it easier. When other people are planning your life, that's really tiring.

So we've got my bday trip, then my hubby and kid are off school for a whole week for Thanksgiving, which is AWESOME! Then we're going to Disneyland the first week of December, which we've been saving for forever and now we get the opportunity to go into the ever exclusive Club 33, too! AND it's going to be Christmas time! And it's going to be Lucy's first time to Disneyland and Gwen's first time in over 5 years! I am SO excited!!! The comes Christmas! Then New Years', Then it's 2011! WOW time flies! But I am really really excited about this end of the year! And honestly, fun activities aside, I don't really have a reason why. Usually I don't really love the end of the year cuz it's so busy, but I am in a really good place right now.

Plus, I don't mean to brag, but I am looking GOOD now-a-days, and that makes me happy. I know that sounds shallow, but I have struggled with my weight and with self-confidence (justified or unjustified) for my whole adult life, and for once, I feel GREAT. I weigh less than I did in High School, but the weight is distributed in better places, Clothes look like they were made for me, and my legs don't touch when I walk, and my skin isn't breaking out all the time and my CMT has hit a plateau and that makes me more confident on my feet.... Wow! When you write it all out like that, life is amazing!

This is a good post. I really should blog more! I am on such a "God is great!" high right now! I know life doesn't always feel great; I am actually coming out of an incredibly depressed month or so. But, I am so blessed! My husbands music lesson business is taking off, adding close to a thousand dollars a month in income, which will perfectly cover the deficit that will be coming when I finally lose unemployment for good (Not to mention the fact that the gov't has basically been paying me to be a SAHM for over TWO YEARS!!!), and people have been randomly giving us money! For example, I babysat for an event last week, and was told I'd get $150, and they paid me $220! God is just so GOOD!
I am SO blessed. I am SO happy to be where I am, and I am seeing so many amazing things coming in my future! This is awesome!

Well anyway, this is an extremely long post. Perhaps ya'll will like it! I really do. :) I really ought to do this more...it's nice to get stuff flowing out of me like this, and see it written down. Plus I like sharing my life with you all. Thanks for being part of my life, everyone! I love each and every one of you.

Side note:: I should do a count of all the exclamation points in my post...that would be funny. HAHAH!! (Added later) I did it...I counted the exclamation points. 34 exclamation points in one post! Can you believe it!? (oops, just added 2 more while talking about it...hah! (3 haha! (4)) ok I am done.

Fasting does not go fast.

So our church is fasting for 40 days. It is a great cause... sanctity of life and marriage... but let me just tell you it is not easy to fast, let alone PRAY while I'm doing it.

I started the fast relatively strong, giving up sweets. I thought about sweets CONSTANTLY. I tried to pray, but instead ended up diverting my attention with another activity or food. Then I forgot a couple times and then it was just downhill from there. In 12 days it died.
SO, I started fresh on Sunday night. I decided that instead of sweets, which clearly didn't matter that much to me because I could distract myself, I gave up facebook.
Facebook is harder, but I can already feel that it's better. I basically don't care much about the Internet except for checking a few things here and there. But FACEBOOK... well, let's just say I'm an addict.
So this will be good. Even during the times when I'm not specifically praying, I will be overall more productive in life. I think that will make God happy.
But anyway, fasting is not fast. Each day is a battle. Maybe that's why God looks favorably on it.

Are you fasting? What's your story?

Things I've learned today...

1. I do not like my husband's toothpaste. YUCK.
2. Some people will do shady things to get someone's business. Even if that means taking business from a family member.
3. Lucy doesn't always want to take a nap, and there's nothing I can do to force her.

So, I'm tired of seeing that last post....

so I decided to blog it up.

what on earth should I write about?

Well, I could tell you all about how I am getting new carpet and a new fence in my back yard and we're going to put in a patio and grass and it's gonna be lovely and we're going to get a barbeque and a picnic table and it's gonna be amazing.
can you tell I'm excited?

BUT, moving all of our furniture in the entire house is going to be quite a job.

so stay tuned, cuz there will be a homewarming party soon!!! :)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Waiter, I'd like a slice of Jessica please?

Yes, yes... I have been sliced up like the fixins for a Submarina sandwich.

Well...a little.

Sliced enough for a few stitches counts, right?

Well, here's the real story: I broke a glass a few days ago and put it in the trash. I took that trash out today and the glass had its vengeance on me for throwing it away. Sigh... 4 or 5 stitches and a tetanus shot later and here I am!

And, I thought you'd want to see my battle wound.


Here I am just after arriving. They're taking all my vitals to make sure I'm alive. As if walking into the room didn't tip them off. lol

Here's a close up of my leg. Mikey's mom came over to watch the kids while we were gone, and she brought a plethora of supplies and bandaged me all up for my journey.

Here's a close up. **Shudders**

"Hello! Nice to meet you! I am the human pin-cushion!"

All sewn up and ready to go! Looks like a caterpillar or something.

So that was my excitement for the day! Oh...they put me on Antibiotics just in case... the pill is ENORMOUS! it is about an inch long, and a half an inch wide! it is a hard pill to swallow.

ANYWAY, presents, money, baked goods, salty snacks.... all are welcome as condolences for my suffering. I also accept indentured servitude. Appointments can be made with the receptionist in the lobby. I look forward to your visit.

HA!

this pic is so stinkin funny!

I like the Dorothy pic of Liz that I put in the last post, but I found this pic and it is so stinkin funny! So I thought I'd share!

[Picture removed per face owner's request]

Yeah I'm sure Liz will love that I shared it...but hey, a picture's worth a thousand words, right? How many words come to your mind? What are they?

hehe

Ahh Birthdays!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Lizzy, Gwenny, Mikey, Mommy and Abby! Happy Birthday to you!!!!



06/29
Lizzy....Happy Happy day to Dorothy, circa 2008! :) You are such a good friend and I love you so much! :)

06/07

Ah rock-star Gwen. 2007 loved you, and 2010 does too! You have grown up so much, my lovely daughter! I am so proud of you! :)

06/28

Michael Roy Best, you are the most amazing man in the whole wide world and I am so thankful for you! I hope that in spite of being sick, this birthday will be wonderful! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! :) Happy Birthday my amazing handsome husband! I adore you!!

06/20
My Mommy! Yes ladies and gentlemen, this woman is 50. She doesn't look a day over 35!I love you Mommy, Happy Birthday! :)

06/12? I always forget the actual day.
Abby you are so beautiful and I love you! I am so happy to get to see you grow up into such a lovely little lady!

Happy Birthday TOOOOOOO YOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!

STUPID.

Everything is stupid today.
Stupid stale pretzels that I wanted to eat but now are gross.
Stupid mono that my husband has, making me into a sick dude's servant and a single mom for the whole summer.
Stupid babysitter to remain nameless that didn't feed my kid dinner or change her diaper even after I reminded them to.
Stupid stinky greasy stink all over me from eating dinner at Benihana which was only ok.
Stupid b**chy girls sitting next to us at Benihana that made it even less only ok.
Stupid airfare being a zillion dollars so I can't go to a friend's funeral on Tuesday.
Stupid month of july with month-long jury duty and a sick husband in it, so we can't go on vacation.
Stupid month of august with a million things to do in it, so we can't go on vacation.
Stupid Gwen's school starting August 23, instead of Labor Day so we can't go on vacation after all the stuff to do in august.
Stupid unfolded laundry.
Stupid expensive cat food for cats that aren't even my pets.
Stupid mess that no one in the house cleans up that I keep tripping over.
Stupid trash that no one takes out EVER. And even if I take it out, somehow it's always full right away again.
Stupid dishes that i am always washing but the sink is always full.

ARGH! Stupid everything.

Oh Wow.... this is pathetic.

So, I'm sitting here at the computer, and I noticed that under my armpits and extending across my chest really hurts! Thought about possible reasons why..... Oh, right, I did 15 girl style push ups last night. What a wimp!

I really need to work on getting in shape. I am skinny, but that doesn't mean I'm healthy or in shape.

I have no idea what to do. I think I'm gonna start taking walks and stuff. There's just not a whole lot I can do as far as sports or anything... I CAN do Yoga, and that tones and lengthens...

Hmmm....

Anyway, I am trying really hard to eat better, but we'll see. I just feel like a grody sloth. And my arm pits hurt from girl push ups and that is so SO lame.

Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

Need to sell some cloth training pants - SOLD! :)

Anyone know anyone that might be interested?

Description:
I have 6 new happy heinys side snap, pocket trainers and 12 new large microfiber inserts. They have never been washed or worn.
Size small (24-35 lbs)Prints:CowKelly Green solidBrown with pink hibiscusBlue with white butterflies and yellow polka dotsNeon multi-color with flowerslight green base with monkeys/ bananas pattern
The inserts are all white, from the same lot.

Both sides have a row of three snaps for ease in messy clean ups and to make stuffing in the inserts easier.
Makes it easy for potty training as they can pull up and down with the elastic waistband.
Quick on and off. The inside is custom milled fleece and there is an outer PUL layer to hold in wetness.
Happy Heinys Trainers have been child tested and last 12+ hours overnight with absolutely no wicking for most children.
They have a 100% poly laminated outer layer and work wonderfully for potty learners who still need protection overnight.

$110 for the whole lot ($4 discount over buying one at a time), or $19 each set (one trainer and 2 inserts)

My Kid is almost 10.

Wowee does that make me feel old.

Just this once?

When you do something nice for someone, do you do so conditionally? "Just this once" or "until I get tired of you"? What is your motive? What is your required gain?
What if you aren't going to get anything return, even a thank you? Is "thank you" even enough for you?
Do you think you won't have to do it again? Is it a one time thing that should never be expected again? Or should you be open to the fact that that person you just did something nice for might expect/need/ask for something nice again?
Is that mundane task that someone keeps asking you to do going to wear on you, or bring you joy?

What about when people do something nice for you? What do you do?

Metamorpho-stop.

An individual's capacity to change and grow is not directly based on anyone else. However, I believe that the encouragement, or lack thereof, from people important to you can immeasurably help or unfathomably hinder your growth.
What is a person supposed to do if the people they are around consistently bring them down? Stop hanging around them? Well, what if those are people you are "stuck" with?
How do you continue to grow and change and take joy in your growth when no one seems to be in your corner?
How do you act in your joy when it seems like you are being forced back to the place you came from?

Do you step back into the corner and keep to yourself? Do you try to overcome the obstacles and possibly spur others on to change in the process? Do you wallow in self pity and allow the new growth to wither and die?

What do you do?

Everyone has nay-sayers and negative people in their lives. Everyone feels discouraged sometimes by the behavior of others. But what will you do to continue growing in your life? What will you do to preserve the "mountain top"? What will you do to THRIVE?

Homemade Chinese food = WIN!

YUM! Too bad my camera makes it look anemic. Hmmm... Maybe I'll steal Jordan's fantastic picture of the same meal from when she made it? hehe! Nah, I'll just link to it.

And here's the fabulous egg drop soup. SO yummy!! :)

Here are the recipes and while you're there, join my recipe group!

So that's what I have to say today. :)

oh blogging....

I'll get all fired up about something or really want to write about something, and if I don't do it right then, the waves of motivation pass and it's much harder to do it.

UGH.

I am so incredibly amazed!

God is AWESOME! He knit us together perfectly and exactly as He wanted us to be. We are so complex and amazing, there is NO WAY we could have evolved! I am so phenomenally awe-struck at God's magnificence in our creation and in the world around me!

Some examples in this article of Wow-worthy development facts. They have only listed a few of the many things worth saying "Wow" about!

One of the things that I am saying wow about is my beautiful Lucy. While all children develop at different speeds, there are still "norms" that each child accomplishes by a certain age. And based on this chart, Lucy has accomplished some things that 22, 23, 24 month old children should be able to do! That is AMAZING! Obviously she is still learning "younger" things too, but I am so thrilled at how much she's learning!

One of the things she is learning ever so quickly is how to use the potty! People say she'll learn some, regress, learn more, etc...and that's fine. But for now, we are thrilled! And she gets SO excited when she goes, too! Oh she is SO cute and SO sweet. :) She feels so proud of herself, and loves it when we're proud of her too! So that's great!

As for Gwen, she is amazing too! She is growing up so fast, and is becoming more and more refined and lovely as days go by. She is truly a joy to be around. I can't wait to see what amazing things God does in that girl's life. You know what I just thought of? We don't have any programs for tween girls at our church. We need some sort of devotional "become the young lady God designed you to be" sort of class. One would say "So start one!" and i would say to them "I have NO CLUE how to teach a 10 yr old ANYTHING!" (Including my own! lol) So that's hard. But I really do feel like we need that. Those young ladies are an under serviced age group, I think. I can't even find good devotionals for Gwen's age, and she is even reading 6th grade stuff! I'm gonna call the Kid's pastor and see what he says. That's a good plan.

Anyone have any thoughts?

***UPDATE: I called the children's pastor. He seemed like he thought it was a good idea, but sort of just referred some devotionals to me individually. I even volunteered to team up with someone and actually teach the class. He's gonna "stew" on it for a while he said, so we'll see.*****

And THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1NR7oGzcEg

Well here we goooooooo!!!

Mikey says he doesn't want me to take the job. He's been sort of mum on the subject til now. He wants to make it work.

So for the time being, we focus on cutting costs, saving every cent of UE we can, and going forward that way! If we just make it through the summer, then fine. If longer, great.

Obviously I want it this way too, I am/was just willing to do more.

God will provide because He says He will, always has, always does, never missed a minute. Even if that means we are guests at different people's homes "randomly" for dinner, then we will eat. :)

Of course I have known this all along....

and hey, there are still 2 more extensions available on UE. Maybe Congress will move to extend the filing deadlines and I'll get it! (Right now the deadlines are too close and it doesn't appear I'll qualify). Anyway God does great things.

And OF COURSE, my little Lucy is cuter and more helpful and cuddly than ever today... bet all you SAHM advocates out there conspired with her! lol


Thank you all for your wonderful input; I really do value every single penny of it. :)

My wonderful cousin made me remember that I saw some ads on Craigslist last week for at home admins...doing quickbooks and stuff. So, if I can get a copy of QB, then I can do that at home and bring in pretty good income....all during nap time!

Anyone have a copy of quickbooks software that I can put on my computer? Rumor has it, it comes with licenses for more than one computer?!

Am I missing something?

I posted these notes on facebook in response to everyone's comments. I REALLY want to know what people think, here.

I think what people aren't seeing is that our choices are Mikey working a million hours, which will NOT be healthy for our family, or us going on WELFARE. And I REFUSE to use Credit Cards to make more "money".I will not be homeless. I will not be foodless. I do not believe that sitting on my hands and not doing anything is Godly. I believe that ... yes, God makes things work, but God uses people to make them work. you know? I have a lot of trouble thinking that allowing my family to become destitute so that I can be home (in our cardboard box) with Lucy is insane!Does that make sense? AM I missing something? I must be missing something.

People keep talking about "God will provide", "just wait for his provision".... how do we know that me working a little bit Isn't his provision? How do we know if it IS? I feel like Christians as a whole seem to believe that God is a magic gumball machine or a genie to grant wishes... "God please send me a sign" and then when there's a bright red flashing siren covered sign in front of them, they keep waiting. And then they become disillusioned and angry at God for never sending them the sign. I see it ALL the time.Or...am I expecting too much? AM I giving myself (or God, depending how you look at it) too much credit? Or not enough credit?

Are we just pawns in God's Chess game? Do we really just need to wait for Him to pick us up and move us (or always send random checks in the mail)? Or does God soften people's hearts to be led to where he wants them to go and choose whom He wants them to choose for a job and give them the salary they need.... We have received plenty of random checks in the mail. It's AWESOME. But does God always roll that way? Never requiring US to DO something? Do we get to just lay back with our mouths open and have God feed us grapes all day???Really! I'm really asking. I need to know what I am not understanding here...

Then someone says this:
I think you have quite an imagination... And if a mom is sitting on her hands, then she's not DOING her job. And that's disrespectful to her husband as he works hard.Also, who said that Mikey working a million hours isn't healthy? Is he digging in a mine? Or have we been spoiled to what is "normal" in our modern America? So don't go on welfare, ... See MoreI agree! Don't use credit, also agree. That goal is to set your priorities and, live ON PURPOSE! Which takes work, not just reacting to life.

So then, my question is this. we don't have debt, our bills are as low as we can get them, and I am frugal. What is the difference between living on purpose and reacting to life? What does that even mean? How are we not living on purpose by serving God full time and being careful to be good stewards of the resources He has given us?

And I think working a ton is unhealthy for the family because children need to actually SEE their father. Between work and ministry, Mikey is already working 55 or more hours a week. If he adds a job that yields enough funds to cover the rest of our budget, then he'd have to work at least 20 more hours a week. We would never see him! Is that a price that we should be willing to pay so that I can be home?

Chime in...

so dramatic

Poor Lucy is SO dramatic! She's sick. :( She's on day 3 (the worst day)...and she's so sad. Poor baby I feel terrible for her.

My ears are plugged. It's pretty miserable...so since i just had this cold and I know how crappy it is, i imagine she does too...which is sad.

On the upside, Mikey and i are going on a date tonight! Hopefully poor Lucy will start feeling better so she can have some fun with Gwen and Cousin Amanda!
-------------------
So I started that blog earlier today....now here's the conclusion...

We went on our date...it was awesome! Lots of Lobster, and "She's Out of my League". The dinner was so yummy and the movie was funny and cute. They tried to put Lu in bed at 6:30 for some reason, and had to take her out and try again around 7:30, and she put up a little bit of a fuss, but is asleep now, and has been for a while so I think we're good.

Here's what's on my mind though, and I need some help making a decision...

I'm currently a Stay At Home Mom, and I'm getting unemployment for about 10 more weeks. Should I take a 3-4 month temp position working full time, making a ton of money? Or should we try to get money some other way so I can stay home and get by?

It is a temp position with NO CHANCE of becoming long term. The way we have been thinking about it is this... my husband works at church, and I get unemployment. We made the decision for him to go into ministry and that God would provide. So far, he has, with all the unemployment extensions.

However, unemployment is running out, and we won't be able to make it on his income. We believe it is God's will for him to stay at this job, and have been praying for God to bring us opportunities to make money to put into savings so we will have money to live on after UE runs out.

I did not search for any jobs, two different companies found my old resume on Monster, and called about the same job. I find it hard to believe that God didn't bring this to us when we have been praying for something just this last week.

Anyway, ALL THAT TO SAY, if we keep "making it" on UE til it runs out, then either Mikey will have to go get a completely different job, a part time job on top of church, or i will have to work at least part time, forever. OR, I work for 3 months now, save a TON of money, and get to stay home longer in the long run. And then maybe church can give him a raise, or he finds other opportunities, or we become independently wealthy....

Oh, and my mom, sister, and husband would be watching Lucy.

Now, thoughts? BIG questions, needing BIG answers ASAP! I told the guy I would call him tomorrow... it's a fast moving hiring process.

today is a much better day. :)

Last night
- I got my phone replaced. Verizon said it was a defect because the screen was frozen. NICE.
- My wonderful friend Justin threw a movie gift card at me while we were discussing going to the movies. (I know... "wonderful", "friend", and "Justin" all in the same sentence... Pretty crazy huh? hehe)
- My sisters came over and we had fun cooking together.
- I made chocolate chip cookies.

Today
- I already have a few babysitting jobs lined up.
- Lucy's taking a nap right now. :-D
- I already have the dishes done.

So yeah... stuff is good. I sometimes need to freak out, but God always comes through. :)

I DO think I might have a cold though. Or maybe it's allergies, cuz I am sneezing. But I feel tired and my ears are plugged and my nose is running, so... just pray that subsides quickly because I have to (get to!) sing on Saturday and Sunday....

And oh me, oh my... this is the weekend we have to "Spring Ahead". Sigh... that makes for a very tired Sunday morning. It's gonna be like waking up at 4:30. Want to know something "funny"? One or both of us plays the Sunday of "Spring Ahead", EVERY YEAR! I wonder how it falls that way so often. We also very often play the weekend of "Fall Back", but that's not so upsetting, of course! who can't use an extra hour?

I really need a vacation though. We're supposed to go on one April 5-8 and I am REALLY looking forward to it. Logistics are being worked out, and I REALLY hope it pans out. If not, I will still live. :)
But oh my goodness, bathing suits are on clearance at Target already!? I need to go get one! And I also need shorts! Maybe today after Lucy wakes up, or tomorrow sometime, I can go get some warm weather stuff before it's gone. Apparently they sell out before spring even springs.

I don't know what we're doing for Easter, at least as a family, at least, but I do know that Mikey and I are both singing ALL FOUR SERVICES! Should be a long weekend. But Easter is April 4, and that there vacation I spoke of will be the 5-8 so it'll be some well-deserved rest. :)

So that's that.

comments = blog post.

No, the soup was not good enough to kill my phone over. :(
It's not even that the phone's expensive and I liked it and stuff. It's not even that Verizon has added a required data plan (minimum cost $9.99) for all future upgrades and new phones...
It's just 'one more thing'. you know?
Sigh.
Plus I just found out that Disneyland reached it's goal of 1 million volunteers, right in the midst of me working out my volunteer opportunity and now there's no more free disneyland.

I just feel like I can't catch a break right now. I REALLY wanted to take my kids to Disneyland.

I can definitely see the positive in my life. I know it's there. But my goodness... why does it have to be so HIDDEN sometimes!?

Well !@#$%*&

I had planned to write some foofy happy blog about love and life and happiness and all that jazz, but today is NOT a happy day. :(
i mean it has it's happy parts... I went to Tori's house this morning and she and I talked and the kids played, which was fun. And then Enrique came over and that was awesome too cuz I haven't seen her in a long time!

BUT, I also got the phone call from my husband that he can't get a raise at church, so he basically has to get another job on top of church, get a different job, or I have to get a job.
Soooo... yeah. I've got unemployment for a whopping 8 more weeks, and then it's over. So I am applying for part time jobs (like during nap time, kind of stuff) and hoping to make some money babysitting.
Hmmm...just went on EDD's website. there's a 4th and 5th extension available. Available doesn't necessarily mean For Sure, but it is still AVAILABLE. So we'll see.

And, then I just found out that $5 movie Tuesdays is over, rendering the date that we FINALLY planned for next Tuesday, useless.

Sigh.

But anyway, God has never failed to take care of us, so I know that this will all work out. Funny how over the course of writing this short blog, my outlook has changed. I knew there was a reason I had a blog. :)

Oh, and I dropped my cell phone in soup. >:-(

Ok folks... reply with helpful comments. :)

Wedding pics: 959

The happy couple

The girls :)

The funny fam all dressed up

Oh Gwen. Glorious, beautiful Gwen.

Lu + Daddy = LOVE

'nuff said.

Oh it was SO HOT that day!

Marilyn pt. 2?

oh look...here's a smiling one. :)

Proof Justin can dance?

The whole big bunch of us.

MY KID IS AWESOME!

Three reasons Lucy is more awesome today than yesterday:

1. I told Lucy to ask Daddy to put her in her high chair, and she yelled "daaaaddyyyyyy!"

2. Later, Lucy was talking to me, and then when she was done, she said "Bye!" and ran away.


3. Lucy grabbed my hand, led me to the couch, had me sit down and then she climbed up into my lap and cuddled while she ate her bagel. then got up for a minute and Mikey said lay back down on Mommy! And she DID!

It's just one thing after another today! I LOVE days like this!!!! She is learning SO much and getting SO smart!!!

She knows her body parts (arms, fingers, hands, eyes, ears, hair, nose, mouth, teeth, tongue, feet, toes, legs, tummy, belly button, bottom), some colors, TONS of words, she's following one step commands and learning how to follow two-steps. she understands just about everything I say to her and responds either physically or verbally! Oh and she knows which foot is right and which is left!! She is AMAZING!!!!!!!

AND, She wears giant work boots.

So there's always THAT! :) She's growing up so fast! Sigh.

oh the places we will go....

...like today when we went to Fallbrook on the way to the Wild Animal Park.

Fallbrook isn't on the way to the Wild Animal Park, you say?

I KNOW.

And now you do too.

My cousin and I busted hiney to get out of the house before 10. We wanted to get out by 9:30, but babies are babies. Anyway, so we're driving along, jabbering about whatever and I'm looking for the GIANT W.A.P. sign that's usually along the side of the 15N. It wasn't there. So I didn't get off the freeway. All of a sudden I realize we're WAY past Escondido and call my Mom. "Turn around... you passed it a LONG time ago". Turn around and get back on the freeway and I see a "Escondido - 15 miles" sign. Dang it! And as I'm approaching the correct exit, I see the GIANT southbound W.A.P. Sign. Well, where the heck is the Northbound one??? Hmmmm.... I should write my congressman. heh
Anyway, we got to there at 11:20 or so, then had to nurse the babies and get all our stuff out of the car and everything.....oh goodness.

BUT, in spite of that, we had a great time. Lucy even got so worn out that she fell asleep in her stroller... that NEVER happens. So Gin and I sat in the shade near the misters (and a guy who took off his shoes and was picking his nose..hehe) and had a snack so Lu could get a semi decent nap. Then she woke up and ate a snack and we went on the very long trek to find "OUT". hehe
Oh and it was like 900 degrees today, so that was an added bonus!

I have come to the conclusion that the WAP is for older kids and adults because they have such large enclosures (good for the animals, I know) that the little ones just can't see it to appreciate it. But I enjoyed it. hehe

Checklist for next time:

• Leave really early in the day and remember that the WAP is just past Rancho Bernardo. It only FEELS like a long drive when you're a kid, it is not really very far.
• We need more sunscreen than the 1oz sample size I had in my diaper bag, and we should probably apply it at home.
• Wear Shorts.
• Bring more water than 3 bottles for me and 1 for Lucy.
• Wait until Lucy is older or Mikey is able to come with me.

But you know... I love getting out of the house, and I love hanging out with Gin, so I think today was a success. :)

Oh, one more thing. While we were in the parking lot, Lucy was running around on her little leash and she RAN into the open car door. So sad. SO funny. Poor baby has her first head bump. I should take a picture of it. Poor baby. And she was SO tired, she was ready for bed before 7pm! WOW! Hopefully she's not up-and-at-'em super early tomorrow!! But in anticipation that she will be, I am off to get ready for bed!

Long day...

And somehow that is why there's nothing to blog about.

Well except that Lucy now plays three made up games. "Rip up a piece of paper and give the pieces to me" and "I have pretend food in my hand that I'm going to pretend to eat and feed to you", and last but not least "bring Mommy miscellaneous things and get excited when she takes them."
They are the cutest games ever.

She also yells "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" at the top of her lungs when she does something good. CUUUUTE!

I went to home group tonight and was determined not to have a good time, and I ended up having a great time. I love my home group. I love how comfortable I feel with everyone(even comfortable enough to go without Mikey!), I love that people have meaningful conversation with me, and not just "hey how's it going, ok bye", I love that I REALLY learn stuff and REALLY meet with God every week.... I LOVE my home group, and I LOVE that God brought me to it.

So here's a funny question... after leaving group tonight, I text the person I had just spent a long while talking to "I love talking with you. Thanks for being a great friend", to which she replies "ditto, yo". Is that normal? hehe I have had things like that happen several times. I "me too" or "uh huh" a proper response? Am I text etiquette illiterate? hahahah

And I am excited about my new tv console. It's so cute. But I don't feel like posting a pic, so you'll have to come over to see it! So there!

Ok so I guess I don't hate the whole day....just the long boring parts or the fighting with Hubby about nonsense part.

Anyway, I'm tired and starving. I'm going to go eat a PB&J and try not to fall asleep doing it.
LOVE!

e.t.a...oops I lied. once I got to the kitchen, I decided I wanted a big fat bowl of Kix. so that's what I am eating. :) haha

Girl Scout Cookies...

glorious girl scout cookies...For sale at my house. Usually we walk around with an order form and people think about what they want, love the fact that they don't have to pay now, and spend 3 weeks dreaming in anticipation of their beloved girl scout cookies. Not this year... this year is "cookies now".
Basically, it is a throwback to the 50's to make people feel all warm and squishy inside when they see adorable little girls running around with signs and wagons. What it means for me, however, is I have to cart around 100's of cookies in HOPES that I will be able to sell any.
And since most of our clientele were church members, that makes it very difficult. We can't set up a table or cart around a wagon, or anything. While I fully understand the reasoning behind that (if we let one person, we'd have to let everyone), it still makes my life difficult.
So that said...I HATE selling girl scout cookies, and now I hate it even more. I do like eating them though. Already tore through 1/3 of a box of samoas. yumyumyumyumyum!! I will also be buying some trefoils and thin mints.

Anyway... other than that, my friend's kid came over with a cold sore and touched all of Lucy's toys last night...so that was awesome. Had to spend the evening Lysol-ing the crap outta the toys because I am just NOT going to subject my poor kid to that! :(
Why don't people understand that cold sores are HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS!? Touch your face, touch other people and things, spread herpes to everyone. It is NOT "just a little cold sore". It is a freaking festering, contagious, nasty, disgusting VIRUS that you have FOR-E-VER!!
I hate that people are so inconsiderate. I really just want to throw all the toys away and start over. Or move. Just leave all my stuff here and go. I HATE cold sores. Yuck. (no offense if you get them, just don't come over and infect my freaking kid.)
Hmph. But honestly...how do you tell your friend, "I don't want your kid touching my kid's stuff...let's just keep it outside."? You know? You don't.

Wow...ok, that was quite a rant. Onward!!! This week on Facebook, everyone has been changing their profile pic to a celebrity who looks like them. It's awesome how close some of them are! Then there's me. I don't think I look like anyone. An online look-alike program told me I look like Amanda Bynes, but I'm not so sure. I think maybe Jennifer Garner or some no name actress in the background of a movie maybe... but I have pretty average, common features I think. Any thoughts? No, Justin, I don't actually look like Lisa Loeb.

I think I want to go to the Zoo again this week. Today we're all going to a bday party at Chuck-E-Cheese... should be at least a little fun! But I really liked going to the Zoo a couple weeks ago. I think I wanna go again. Maybe we'll get Sea World passes too? Is Sea World any good? I haven't been for a long, long time! Hmmm....

Anyway, that's my life right now. Hope everyone has a great Sunday! buh bye!

Best Friend...Are you out there?

I really want people to seek me out.
I really want them to invite me places.
I want them to decide "yes, I will attend your gathering" without first seeing if a better invitation surfaces.
I really want give and take, it goes both ways friends.
I want to invest in you, but I need you to invest in me sometimes too.
I want to have inane conversations and deep conversations.
I want people to want to hear what I have to say.
I want to have people call me to connect.
I want to call them and say "let's hang out!" and they say "ok!", and not "well, uh, I, uh... how bout in two weeks from 10:52am-10:57am?"
I want to be someone's first-on-the-list.
I don't want to "disappear" when your other friends are around.
I want to call someone and say come over right now and have them say ok.
I want to share tiny victories like finding my favorite toilet paper on sale.
I want a best friend.

I have realized that maybe this doesn't exist in one person, and at least at this point, doesn't really exist anywhere in my life, except in those that "have to". I know that people who genuinely like me must be out there somewhere and I hope some day to find them. But as for now I will settle for what I can get, I guess. I have decided to take the initiative more in my life.

If people constantly turn me down, I will stop putting myself out in front of their speeding train lives. I will invite them to parties and shrug it off when they inevitably say no. I will not stress out over the "maybe's" that are more likely "no's". I will not feel slighted when they won't commit to yes or no. I will be happy when people unwaveringly say yes. I will relish the friendships I do have, and be hopeful and not downtrodden with new ones.

I am a great person. I know I have my downfalls, but I also know that I am a great friend that will do everything in her power to enrich your life. I love people. I love to entertain. I love to feed people physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I love to do nice things for people. I LOVE investing in other's lives. I want to be your friend.
Yes, I will probably talk your ear off at times. Yes, I may offer advice that is hard to hear sometimes, but I will pray for you and help you and be a listening ear when you need it. I want to share my life with you. Will you share yours with me?

WHERE....ARE...YOU?

I like bread

I like all types of bread. Especially bread that is soft and squishy. I like bagels, tortillas, rolls, loaves...all bread = yum to me. I especially love this new thing I found called "tortilla bread" it is AWESOME. It's sort of like... that gordita shell from taco bell, but BETTER. Oh yumyumyumyumyum. It's all I can do to not eat the whole bag RIGHT NOW. Here is a blog post featuring it. No, i do not want, nor will I ever eat or make tuna burgers.

anyway, just thought you should all know that. :)

Lucy is practicing with "Yeah" when she wants something. Still says it with a question mark at the end cuz it's new and she's figuring out how to use it, but it makes things so much easier to have her say yeah and no (she shakes her head). It is SO cute! I certainly like that kid. Oh and speaking of Lucy and bread, she says bread now - "breh". Two things I like in one place. Nice.


I officially think Lucy is awesome... The end.

Thoughts for the day

You know that unshakable chocolate craving that sends you scouring the kitchen and you eat 14 other non-chocolate things trying to satisfy the craving and then hate yourself? Well, I bought a bag of M&M's to just store in my freezer. Better to satisfy it quickly than eat 1000 calories of other junk and then end up running to AM/PM anyway, right?

I want to go on a family vacation. That vacation might include a bunch of non-immediate family members. I think it would be super duper fun to rent a van and all drive together, too. Or maybe an RV! Grand Canyon? Yosemite? Beach cities? We shall see...more details to come!

~~~Commenters: Give me some ideas of where we could go!~~~

I can tell weekends are difficult to blog on and about. So we may or may not have weekend posts. This weekend was alright. We did a lot of cleaning (can't tell though) and hanging out with friends... Sunday was an entire day of restaurant eating! Sat we had a wedding, and Lucy was SO squirmy, I didn't make it even 45 min into the reception, so we went home and had make-it-yourself dinner and watched a movie called "Shorts". It was pretty cute! Took me a bunch of junk food and a few hours to shake my cruddy mood from dealing with Lucy and having to leave, but I got through it. :)

Lucy can say the words "apple" (appoh) and "plant" (paah) now, and talks about them a lot. it's SO cute. She also loves cream cheese so much that I started just giving her a spoonful instead of a bagel and CC because she just scrapes it off and throws the bagel on the floor. It's pretty comical how much she loves it.

Gwen is officially a flute player. She loves it. She wants to continue private lessons so she can keep learning, too! The instructor told her that if he had waited for someone to teach him everything he needed to know that he would still be a beginner too, and she should be a self starter and use the chart in the back of her book to teach herself too. After all the times I tried to tell her to practice, she never wanted to til she heard that! Funny how stuff like that makes a concept click like that! i'm so proud :)

Now i'm going to eat my elementary school lunch of a PB&J and apple. byebye

So I'm on the every other day plan...

what are YOU going to do about it? It's more than you're used to, so kiss my hiney! hehe
still feels so icky. :( I must have some kind of tummy thing. no throwing up, no "other" stuff, just upset tummy, little bit dizzy and tired. So weird. oh and a weird taste in my mouth. Nope, not pregnant.

So that's my life right now. did I mention my lips are chapped? "Ugh, my lips hurt real bad!" hehe

So what's new in the life of me? Nothing. Haven't cleaned my house for a few days, so there's always that....guess I should.

.......................Bah this blog sucks. I'll come back later.

An apple a day...

I eat an apple every single day. If I don't have apples, I go to the store. I LOVE Apples. If I don't have one, I feel weird all day. And for all the lame-o's who think I'm crazy, read this stuff! An apple a day really DOES keep the Doctor away!

My favorite variety is the Gala apple, but they're not in season all year, so I usually have to switch for a while til they come back around. This year, I found a new favorite, called the Honey crisp. It is everything perfect and wonderful in an apple. It is crisp and juicy, and sweet and tangy... it is lovely and amazing. But now they're $3.49/lb and that's just too much. So I have to switch again. The Galas are looking better now than they were for a while, so I got one to try.

But today, I tried another new apple, called the JAZZ Apple. Knowing nothing about it, I went ahead and bought one for fun. I tried it this morning, and it is a really firm apple, that tasted like a mix of red delicious and gala. I looked it up and it's braeburn and gala... but I am impressed that I got part right! Anyway, I can't decide if I like it. I may have to go back to get a few more.
Now I'm halfway through... i don't hate it, don't love it. But it'll do til galas are at their peak again.

I feel like there are certain times a year when apples are scarce. The reason I can't remember is because I couldn't eat apples when I was pregnant with Lucy. They made me feel icky. So I have only been eating them for a year since then and it hasn't come full circle yet. It seems to me they are always producing them off-season though, so I don't know.

If you want to learn much much more than you'd ever need to know about apples, go here.

'Kay bye. :)

Well at least I don't feel like crap today too....

....but I did yesterday and that made me forget to blog. Not sick; not pregnant; just felt icky.

that said...it was a blah day. I went to Marshall's cuz I had to return something, and I went to Vons in the rain to get groceries. Then I went to home group, which I love, and fell asleep through the whole thing (not that Ryan was boring, cuz he wasn't). I was so tired! but when I got home, I caught my second wind and ended up staying up til almost 12. :(
Gwen and I did play "tattoo parlor/ beauty shop" though and that was fun! I got a pink heart and a green star tattoo, and purple lipstick and nail polish... i like her a whole lot. :)

so that was my Monday. :)

fail blog.

Well only a few days in, and I already missed a day. BAH! Oh well. I was super tired and felt lame yesterday. However, I did watch Mystery Science Theatre 3000 "Zombie Nightmare", and it was awesome. And we led worship and it was spectacular! i LOVE leading worship with my husband. He is SO used by God, and the Spirit falls so undeniably heavy...I love it (not that it is us - it's God all the way)

Today I don't feel good. I have this weird metallic taste in my mouth and it's making food unappetizing, and it's upsetting my tummy. YUCK.

Lucy seems to be weaning herself from nursing...at least in the daytime. She WILL NOT do it. And then she wakes me up mid-night to nurse. Sigh. I do Not kow what to do.

Anyway, that is totally all I have to say. :)

Wine Party

Eleven wines + Eclectic foods + Good Conversation + Late Night = FUN + Hungry + Headache + Tired. Now I Want Sleep.

Today was a fun day

Lucy, me, Virginia, and Olive went to the Zoo today! It was really fun! We walked almost the whole thing, and while we were all tired and hungry when we left, Virginia and I felt GREAT! MY body definitely craves exercise... who knew!? As always, I didn't take any pictures. There just wasn't anything picture worthy! But, since it WAS Lucy's first trip to the zoo, I really should have. She really had fun though. She especially liked the meerkats.

Later, Gwen lucy and I went to Walmart and decided to eat at Bob's Big Boy. WOW! I haven't eaten there since I was like 8 yrs old! The business closed for a long time, and I guess they decided to open restaurants again? Anyway, my M-I-L was in the vicinity, so she stopped by to visit while we ate, and like a Ninja grabbed the bill and paid it before I could blink! Now THAT's a cheap date! hehe (for me!) What a blessing... I love her. :)
We got burgers and fries and hot fudge sundaes. YUMYUMYUMYUMYUM!!!!

Anyway, so short and sweet yes, but today was a long, great day and I am tired!
Night night!

iBlog. youBlog? WeBLOG?

Do you ever read someone else's blog and wonder where they get the inspiration for their blog? Do you wonder what makes them tick? What made them choose whatever it is that they have become interested in or passionate about? Like in the movie "Julie & Julia", she writes a blog about her experiences cooking through Julia Child's cookbook. We see the tossing around of ideas that culminates in her deciding to write a blog. And as far as blogs go, it makes sense to me that she did that.

But, what about other blogs. What about blogs dedicated to candy (see here and here) or favorite tv shows like Saved by the Bell, and car seats? Or as we saw yesterday, sleep-talking? What makes people decide to devote a blog to such topics? What makes them choose to make it their personal goal to become the Blog authority on this stuff and write about it ALL THE TIME? I can't even keep a blog about nothing going! Seems interesting to me.


Ok that is all about that.

Today Lucy and i watched/danced to her new Bible Songs DVD. She loved it! It was SO cute! Notice that she's holding Mikey's deoderant. She likes to do that, and now she likes to take the cap off and try to eat it, too.

An example:


It's supposed to rain today, and then ALL next week...so that will be interesting! We're supposed to go to the Zoo tomorrow so hopefully that works out!

So since this is my place to say things.... you know what bugs me? People who are martyr-ish (aka self-sacrificing, selfless, etc) about things and then they run around complaining about it! Well if you don't want to take care of your kids "all the time, all by myself", then get a babysitter or let your husband help or something! If you really want the last cookie, don't give it to me and then "oh I would have loved that cookie, but i gave it to you cuz I love you.... oh i wish I could have a cookie..." YouknowwhatI'msayin'!?
What about the close companion, "I can't do this because..."? Well change that thing! "I can't read a book because my kids won't leave me alone." Well, I see you're on facebook all the time; why don't you get off and go read?
Ugh...sorry. I know I shouldn't rant about stuff... I just get so TO'd! hehe

What's funny about this is that i can't even guarantee that people are even reading this nonsense! So I guess it doesn't really matter! blahblahblahblah.....

I have made a few resolutions this year. Not that I actually stated at midnight on NYE that I wanted to do these things, just that they seem to make sense as the last 12 days have gone by.
Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Be more of a joy than a pain.
2. Be more productive throughout the day.
3. Get up and ready before the kids.
4. Be more of a Mommy than a babysitter
5. Eat better.
6. Make a blog entry every day.

Now I know there are more, and I even as I was typing these, I came up with more, but they basically all fall into the same category... BE BETTER. That said, I have done really well with most of them so far. I am tired of feeling crappy all the time. And, I know that that has to do with what I eat, when i eat it, when I start my day, how I DO my day, etc.

Yes, as I sit here and type, my eyes are wigging out because I slept SO terribly last night, but I will not succumb to the nap monster because I always feel worse after I take a nap. So I will continue to do what needs to be done, and I think I will continue to feel better about myself in the process. I hate how gross and useless I feel at the end of the day when I realize I got nothing done, or when I see that the bag of cheetos is now empty and it was full, or when I don't take a shower til 2pm. You know?

But recently I have been getting more active (even if that just means sitting on the floor playing with Lucy or going outside for a while), eating better (I GOTTA because I'm not going to be on the "nursing-keeps-me-thin" plan for much longer!), and trying to do at least SOME chores every day, and I am so proud of myself at the end.

Anyway, I realized last night that since I'm more productive in the day time, I more relaxed at night when Mikey is home. I also realized that I am more able to feel like I can get up off of the couch (read: life waster) and go do something and let him read or play video games or whatever. I don't really know why? Did I develop some confidence I didn't have before? How on earth can Mikey relaxing not upset me? I AM a woman, right? Well, whatever it is, I like it.

Now if I could just develop the ability to feel ok about ditching my Hubby in the living room so I can go sleep when he isn't ready to. Last night I was falling asleep at like 9:15, but for some reason felt like I wanted to stay up with him even though he was reading and I was typing a blog. Well, maybe that should be on my list too. I went to bed at 11:15. :( And he woke me up "inadvertently" when he came to bed at midnight. Lucy was crying, I sorta remember hearing that, and he let her. I swear sometimes he pretends not to hear her. PUNK!

Anyway... I am off to go eat some yummy salad. I LOVE Salad. Well, actually maybe it's a homemade mac n cheese sort of day, so I think I'll go eat the left overs from last night!

And my Hubby is on his way HOME! YAY!!!