The Facebook fast is going good....I have logged in a couple to times to check specific things I needed to know about, and been pretty good at not checking my flags. I have slipped a couple times though. But this fast has been way better for me than the sweets fast was. While I do eat WAY too many sweets, and will be attempting to moderate that more from now on, I wasn't praying or being more productive when I wasn't eating them.
With Facebook out of my life, I am getting more done around the house, connecting better with a friend i frequently email, spending more time with my family, and spending more time with God. It's a good thing. I think after the fast is over, I'm still going to try very hard to only be on facebook when my family isn't around.
I read an article the other day about listening, and it really convicted me. Basically a Mother and her young son were talking about how the dog has lost her hearing and making funny jokes when the son got sad and said he hoped that his Mom didn't lose her hearing when she got older. The Mom asked why and the son said that she already has trouble listening to him sometimes and he doesn't want it to get worse. One example was when she's on the computer and hears that he's talking but doesn't take the time to turn around and really listen. That's devastating to hear, and I know I do it all the time.
I don't want my child to feel that way about me, you know? I mean, even right now as I type, Lucy is eating her lunch and watching a Leapfrog video. Yes, it's educational, and yes, she likes it, but does that make it right? I just don't know. I could be talking to her or reading to her or any other number of things.
So, I am going to try a lot harder to not just be a presence in the room but to be PRESENT with my children. I want them to like spending time with me now AND later. I want our time together to be precious. There's no reason why an email can't wait til they're outside playing or taking a nap, you know?
Anyway, that's what's up with that.
In other news, we're considering adopting a kid. We want probably one more of our own and also want to adopt foster kids but don't know what order to do it in. Right now we are considering adopting first and then having another baby, but aren't sure. The agency we want to work with specializes in placing babies and toddlers, which is what we'd want, and their goal is for their first foster placement to be their only foster placement. Approx 50-60% of foster placements can result in adoption so that's really good odds. The scary part is what if we're in that 40%? How hard would it be to attach to a kid and then have them leave you!? But, if God has our heart leading this way, then I'm sure He would fill that void.
The more I've been thinking about it, I sort of feel like adopting just one kid out of that terrible system isn't enough. There are so many children who need ongoing foster care so they can be reunited with their families eventually. There are so many BAD foster homes. There are kids who need even just one emergency night. I've been wondering if that makes a bigger difference than just rescuing one child. I feel like we have so much love to offer....maybe we can help a lot of children (not all at once, obviously).... Well maybe we adopt one now and then become full time foster parents once our kids are older? I don't know. We are going to be attending an orientation in November with the agency we like to help us figure it all out.
What do you think? Either way, we are SO excited for what our future holds! Psssh I got a minivan, for crying out loud! I might as well fill it up, right? haha
My 30th birthday is coming up...sigh... I sort of feel like it makes me old, but I somehow also feel like it's some sort of rite of passage into adulthood. And somehow, oddly enough, I sort of like it. I NEVER thought I'd hear myself say that. EVER! But for some reason, as my birthday approaches, I feel good about it. I may not be twenty-ten this year, like I thought... I think I'm going to be thirty.
And speaking of, I am going to be a little extravagant this year. Normally I have this weird life-crisis as my birthday approaches. I start thinking about who I'd like to have come to a party or go on a trip with or something, and then when I realize most people are just too busy for a birthday celebration, I get all down on myself and think I have no friends and get into a funk.
WELL, this year, I sort of started down that path and then I yanked myself out of it and decided I was going to do what I wanted to do. And you know what I want to do this year? I want to go out on or near my birthday to my free benihana birthday dinner with a few close friends, and then the week after, my husband is going to take me away on a lovely weekend in teeny little Solvang, CA and we're going to sleep in and eat good food and drink good wine and be tourist trap loving tourists. And it's going to be AWESOME. :) And I am super excited. I wanted to plan some big hullabaloo with a bunch of friends and blah blah blah... and it was not going to be easy! I just wanted a nice quiet easy weekend. Ahhhhhhh.... I can't wait.
The one thing I'm nervous about is leaving Lucy. She likes Mommy and she likes routine... a lot... and I don't know if whoever I leave her with will follow her routine. I am afraid my relaxing weekend will be ruined by coming home to an overtired, stressed-out kid, and I don't like that idea. I am hoping that someone can stay here in our home so that she'll be more comfortable.
But either way, I am really really excited. Our summer was extremely busy and even though the holidays are coming up and we really still have a lot planned, I am feeling more relaxed. A lot of what we have planned was my choice, and that makes it easier. When other people are planning your life, that's really tiring.
So we've got my bday trip, then my hubby and kid are off school for a whole week for Thanksgiving, which is AWESOME! Then we're going to Disneyland the first week of December, which we've been saving for forever and now we get the opportunity to go into the ever exclusive Club 33, too! AND it's going to be Christmas time! And it's going to be Lucy's first time to Disneyland and Gwen's first time in over 5 years! I am SO excited!!! The comes Christmas! Then New Years', Then it's 2011! WOW time flies! But I am really really excited about this end of the year! And honestly, fun activities aside, I don't really have a reason why. Usually I don't really love the end of the year cuz it's so busy, but I am in a really good place right now.
Plus, I don't mean to brag, but I am looking GOOD now-a-days, and that makes me happy. I know that sounds shallow, but I have struggled with my weight and with self-confidence (justified or unjustified) for my whole adult life, and for once, I feel GREAT. I weigh less than I did in High School, but the weight is distributed in better places, Clothes look like they were made for me, and my legs don't touch when I walk, and my skin isn't breaking out all the time and my CMT has hit a plateau and that makes me more confident on my feet.... Wow! When you write it all out like that, life is amazing!
This is a good post. I really should blog more! I am on such a "God is great!" high right now! I know life doesn't always feel great; I am actually coming out of an incredibly depressed month or so. But, I am so blessed! My husbands music lesson business is taking off, adding close to a thousand dollars a month in income, which will perfectly cover the deficit that will be coming when I finally lose unemployment for good (Not to mention the fact that the gov't has basically been paying me to be a SAHM for over TWO YEARS!!!), and people have been randomly giving us money! For example, I babysat for an event last week, and was told I'd get $150, and they paid me $220! God is just so GOOD!
I am SO blessed. I am SO happy to be where I am, and I am seeing so many amazing things coming in my future! This is awesome!
Well anyway, this is an extremely long post. Perhaps ya'll will like it! I really do. :) I really ought to do this more...it's nice to get stuff flowing out of me like this, and see it written down. Plus I like sharing my life with you all. Thanks for being part of my life, everyone! I love each and every one of you.
Side note:: I should do a count of all the exclamation points in my post...that would be funny. HAHAH!! (Added later) I did it...I counted the exclamation points. 34 exclamation points in one post! Can you believe it!? (oops, just added 2 more while talking about it...hah! (3 haha! (4)) ok I am done.
It Was Time
6 years ago
4 comments:
Wordy much? Glad you wrote this, though. Very informative. Where to begin...
The over/under on you giving in fully back to Facebook was like 36 hours so in that sense you have far exceeded expectations. It's good to see that you seem to have gained perspective for future use, too. It's a great tool that lets you connect with people but at the same time your biggest connections are right there in your own home. But yeah, Facebook is pretty boring without you so the end of the month can't come soon enough. =P
I can't fully relate to the hearing story but it makes sense. For me, I would always be devastated when I would try to talk to my mom about something (important or frivolous, didn't matter) and she wasn't fully in the conversation due to her being blasted on cheap wine. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Don't give Lucy alcohol.
You know my thoughts on the adoption thing. As long as you let God take control then you will be blessed abundantly no matter what happens. But that's true in all areas of life.
So glad to hear how much of a 180 you've done this month! You deserve all the fun things you have planned and I think they'll make this busy season fly right by.
The Lucy thing will be hard... but it's necessary. She has to learn how to cope with you or Mikey not being just a room or crying tantrum away. She will eventually make it over the hump and you will, too. And in the end, it will make both of you stronger.
It's not bragging if you think you look good. Nothing to apologize about. But just to be sure it doesn't go to your head I won't bother to affirm your speculation. =P
Yes you should do this more! You should have listened to all those "Blog more" responses I've left over the years! Told you I was right.
By the way, my verification word to leave a comment is "arrabs". The terrorists have won.
I love it! I think it's the best feeling in the world when you're on a God is Great high. Everyone should be able to feel that all the time, but it's so hard because the devil knows how to push our buttons.
I'm looking forward to 30 also, kind of for the same reasons...but you're going to get there first! Ha, ha! Just kidding.
(And that's 3 exclamation points for me.)
haha well thank you for yourr vote of confidence. lol
Was your mom really blasted on cheap wine? or were YOU?
I think I'll have to re-read our emails cuz I'm not sure you went very in depth about the adoption thing, except "whatever you do, check with God first". hehe
YAY!
Yeah i know, but it's still going to be really hard for everyone...at least at first.
Saying you wouldn't affirm it, affirms it. so thank you.
hmmm...ok i guess you're right.
Yep. they have. And you know how i know? All the mid-east people that live around me that seem to be unemployed and somehow satisfactorily clothed, fed and housed. Hmmmm....hey US government...how bout helping people who lived here FIRST!?
Yeah C it's true. he really does. And he tried to last night, and I really think that I stepped above it pretty good! Take that devil!
Yeah i can't really put my finger on it, but something about it makes me feel like "ahhhhh, this is nice".
Well you have almost 3 kids, so you're older than me anyway. HA!
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