I posted these notes on facebook in response to everyone's comments. I REALLY want to know what people think, here.
I think what people aren't seeing is that our choices are Mikey working a million hours, which will NOT be healthy for our family, or us going on WELFARE. And I REFUSE to use Credit Cards to make more "money".I will not be homeless. I will not be foodless. I do not believe that sitting on my hands and not doing anything is Godly. I believe that ... yes, God makes things work, but God uses people to make them work. you know? I have a lot of trouble thinking that allowing my family to become destitute so that I can be home (in our cardboard box) with Lucy is insane!Does that make sense? AM I missing something? I must be missing something.
People keep talking about "God will provide", "just wait for his provision".... how do we know that me working a little bit Isn't his provision? How do we know if it IS? I feel like Christians as a whole seem to believe that God is a magic gumball machine or a genie to grant wishes... "God please send me a sign" and then when there's a bright red flashing siren covered sign in front of them, they keep waiting. And then they become disillusioned and angry at God for never sending them the sign. I see it ALL the time.Or...am I expecting too much? AM I giving myself (or God, depending how you look at it) too much credit? Or not enough credit?
Are we just pawns in God's Chess game? Do we really just need to wait for Him to pick us up and move us (or always send random checks in the mail)? Or does God soften people's hearts to be led to where he wants them to go and choose whom He wants them to choose for a job and give them the salary they need.... We have received plenty of random checks in the mail. It's AWESOME. But does God always roll that way? Never requiring US to DO something? Do we get to just lay back with our mouths open and have God feed us grapes all day???Really! I'm really asking. I need to know what I am not understanding here...
Then someone says this:
I think you have quite an imagination... And if a mom is sitting on her hands, then she's not DOING her job. And that's disrespectful to her husband as he works hard.Also, who said that Mikey working a million hours isn't healthy? Is he digging in a mine? Or have we been spoiled to what is "normal" in our modern America? So don't go on welfare, ... See MoreI agree! Don't use credit, also agree. That goal is to set your priorities and, live ON PURPOSE! Which takes work, not just reacting to life.
So then, my question is this. we don't have debt, our bills are as low as we can get them, and I am frugal. What is the difference between living on purpose and reacting to life? What does that even mean? How are we not living on purpose by serving God full time and being careful to be good stewards of the resources He has given us?
And I think working a ton is unhealthy for the family because children need to actually SEE their father. Between work and ministry, Mikey is already working 55 or more hours a week. If he adds a job that yields enough funds to cover the rest of our budget, then he'd have to work at least 20 more hours a week. We would never see him! Is that a price that we should be willing to pay so that I can be home?
Chime in...
It Was Time
6 years ago
3 comments:
It’s like the joke about the man who has been notified that his house is going to be flooded and he needs to get out of the house. He says no I don’t have to, God is going to take care of me. Then the flood starts to rise and a sheriff comes along and tells him to get out. The man says no, God is going to save me. So, the floods continue to rise, and he climbs on top of the house. A boat comes along and he’s told to climb into the boat. He says, no, no , God is going to save me. Finally, a helicopter comes along and they lower the net to rescue him. The man says, no, no, God is going to save me! Well, the man drowns and goes to heaven. When he gets to heaven he says to God, "why didn’t you save me?" God says, "I sent the sheriff, I sent a boat, I sent a helicopter, what more did you want me to do?"
(I cut and pasted the above because I couldn't remember it word for word)
I do not think it's in God's plan for us to be overworked. God calls the father to provide for his family, yes. But in my opinion that means working his 40 hours, being involved at church in a ministry and going to a homegroup. I think Mikey does too much NOW. That's not to say there aren't certain situations where God wants a dad to get a second job. But I don't think it's ever permanent or really anything other than an expression of obedience and sacrifice. He needs to see his kids, he needs to see his wife. Period. God calls for him to be number one but a big part of that is spending time with his family.
Once again, with all that said, I think each and every family is different. I don't think it's mandated by God for a dad to work and a mom to be a SAHM. In a perfect world, awesome. But every family is different. God can equally bless a full time working mom and a SAHD or a combo of both working full or part time. The bottom line is coming to a conclusion that you are both giving God His time, giving the spouse their time, giving your kids theirs while finding the path of providing food to eat and a place to sleep. And to go one step further, God WANTS us to be successful. He wants you in a house. A nice house. He wants you to have a nice reliable car. He wants you to take family vacations. As long as He knows you are putting Him first and are willing to let Him go ahead of you to wherever He leads, He's going to want to bless you. I think you've looked at this logically, prayed about it diligently, and are ready to make a decision. I've already said that I think his plan is in motion and you should take the job. If it's not the right decision God will let you know. You're not signing a blood contract here, you're taking a 3-4 month job that can be dropped in a moment's notice. God doesn't want you physically, emotionally or spiritually burdened. Take a step of faith believing that He's seen what lies ahead already. If you make a mistake He'll show you how to correct your steps.
I forgot to mention this. First let me preface it by saying I don't think you're doing this, it's just a spinoff of something you mentioned. I think there is a danger in having a tough decision like this where opinions could be made on both sides as to which is the right action to take or not and not coming to a conclusion based on the list made by thinking it out clearly. For instance, if you are leaning one way before you open the issue up to others for advice and then start strictly defending your opinion when someone supports the other choice then quite frankly you have already made up your mind and God really has nothing to do with it. In that instance it's almost certain to go horribly wrong whether or not that path actually was God's intention all along. I hope that makes sense. Again, I'm not saying you're doing that I just know that I've done that in the past and have regretted it ex post facto.
It's so hard when these kind of decisions come down the line because you have to decide what's best for your family...
Having Mikey working ALL the time is unhealthy...BUT, if it's going to help out financially, if he is okay with this and if it's temporary, then it is something that has to be done. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to survive.
As the husband, he is the bread winner. As the wife, you take car of everything else. Unless you are willing to put Lucy in childcare and get another job, you have to depend on Mikey to provide income.
If you feel bad because you aren't contributing financially, offer babysitting or look for a part-time job. If nothing comes up and no one needs babysitting, take that as a sign that this is where God needs you to be right now.
I would hate it if Bryce worked all the time and didn't see his girls. But I would have to look at the bigger picture which would be that he is providing for us.
I know it doesn't make you happy Jess, but life isn't always fair. Just remember, this is only happening now. Next year this time, things could be completely different.
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