Best Friend...Are you out there?

I really want people to seek me out.
I really want them to invite me places.
I want them to decide "yes, I will attend your gathering" without first seeing if a better invitation surfaces.
I really want give and take, it goes both ways friends.
I want to invest in you, but I need you to invest in me sometimes too.
I want to have inane conversations and deep conversations.
I want people to want to hear what I have to say.
I want to have people call me to connect.
I want to call them and say "let's hang out!" and they say "ok!", and not "well, uh, I, uh... how bout in two weeks from 10:52am-10:57am?"
I want to be someone's first-on-the-list.
I don't want to "disappear" when your other friends are around.
I want to call someone and say come over right now and have them say ok.
I want to share tiny victories like finding my favorite toilet paper on sale.
I want a best friend.

I have realized that maybe this doesn't exist in one person, and at least at this point, doesn't really exist anywhere in my life, except in those that "have to". I know that people who genuinely like me must be out there somewhere and I hope some day to find them. But as for now I will settle for what I can get, I guess. I have decided to take the initiative more in my life.

If people constantly turn me down, I will stop putting myself out in front of their speeding train lives. I will invite them to parties and shrug it off when they inevitably say no. I will not stress out over the "maybe's" that are more likely "no's". I will not feel slighted when they won't commit to yes or no. I will be happy when people unwaveringly say yes. I will relish the friendships I do have, and be hopeful and not downtrodden with new ones.

I am a great person. I know I have my downfalls, but I also know that I am a great friend that will do everything in her power to enrich your life. I love people. I love to entertain. I love to feed people physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I love to do nice things for people. I LOVE investing in other's lives. I want to be your friend.
Yes, I will probably talk your ear off at times. Yes, I may offer advice that is hard to hear sometimes, but I will pray for you and help you and be a listening ear when you need it. I want to share my life with you. Will you share yours with me?

WHERE....ARE...YOU?