Words

For a while, I have been convicted of the way I use words. This morning, I incorrectly used the word "retarded" to describe my day, meaning that it was bad or something was wrong with it. With a simple question from my mentor and the father of a child with Downs Syndrome, I was so convicted, my heart was wrenched. He asked "And retarded is bad? or good?"
Now I don't know specifically what he meant by this question, but something I have learned is, typically the way you react to something shows what's in your heart.
Therefore, in my reaction, "Oopsie", I have derived that I need to change the way I use words. Because if there was nothing wrong with my word usage, I wouldn't have been convicted.

This is, of course, outside of people playing on insecurities, and my being defensive. This is the straight truth about words.

Words can be so many things... they can help, or they can hurt. They can uplift, or they can tear down. So many times, we use them for the latter.

I encourage you to really think about what you say. How does it affect people? What is your motive? Are you uplifting and encouraging? Are you trying to manipulate or hurt someone? Really think about it and try to catch yourself. Catch yourself being good and bad...note the good and encourage yourself, and work on the bad so you don't make the mistake again. BUT, recognize that people make mistakes and move on. Do NOT dwell on it. Do Not become disheartened...practice makes perfect. They say it takes 21 straight FAILURE FREE days to make a habit. SO it can take a while, but we are all, with God's help, able to make a change.

This goes for self talk too. What you believe about yourself is stronger than anything anyone else believes about you. If you are telling yourself negative things all the time, it is very difficult to change your perception of yourself. People can think you are the most amazing thing there is, but if you don't believe it, it isn't true.

I searched "tongue" on http://www.biblegateway.com/. There are HUNDREDS of references to the tongue, showing it can be used for good or evil. Here are a few....

Psalm 52:4You love every harmful word, O you deceitful tongue!
Psalm 64:3They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.
Psalm 120:2Save me, O LORD, from lying lips and from deceitful tongues.
Psalm 140:3They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent's; the poison of vipers is on their lips. Selah
Proverbs 10:19When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
Proverbs 11:12A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
Proverbs 12:19Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.
Psalm 139:4Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.

Psalm 66:17I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.
Psalm 71:24My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.
Psalm 119:172May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.

As Christians, God has called us to be set-apart for His purposes. By speaking too quickly, we fail. We should be slow to speak. People often delight in being quick-witted, commonly using tactics such as sarcasm. Sarcasm (which comes from the Greek word meaning to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer) is typically meant to be funny, but quite frequently tears down others and makes them feel stupid or bad about themselves in some way.

This article says this: "Have you ever noticed that when you think or speak this way, you might feel satisfied for a moment, but the negativity doesn't help resolve anything? In fact, negative thoughts and words like these only serve to poison the atmosphere and weaken a relationship."

I believe this is so true. I can't put that entire article in here, but I encourage you to read it. It is SO good.

We are called to BLESS, not CURSE. We have to choose to be a blessing. We have to choose to speak good things, and not curses.

Proverbs. 10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a well of life.
Proverbs 23:16 My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.
Luke 6:45 The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart

God has made words to be very strong. He SPOKE, and the universe was created! Words are very powerful.

Have you ever heard that it takes saying 10 good things to erase 1 bad thing? I don't honestly believe that is true. I think it takes many more than that, and no matter how many nice things you say, people have a tendency to always remember stuff in the back of their mind. While we wish we could take something we said back, we never can. Only God can bring healing. Even in God's healing, however, we tend to be cautious when around someone who has hurt us in the past. How much better would it be if they had never hurt us in the first place!

I for one, want to stop hurting people with my words, my TONES, my expressions...all of these things come into play. You have to keep in mind that WORDS do not come alone. They come with expressions, micro-expressions, attitudes, etc.

Another thing I am feeling convicted of is using bad language. For one thing, they make me sound unintelligent. I have a thesaurus...I should use it. There are words to express how I am feeling other than the "4-letter" ones. There absolutely are, I just have to find them.

But above all else, the name of my Lord is NOT a curse word. In my life I have rarely used his ACTUAL name, but "stand ins" are really unacceptable too. Someone close to me said that "it matters where your heart is when you say a curse word." Well, when someone says "Oh my gosh" or "oh my Gaaahhh" or whatever, it's just as bad. And that goes for the stand ins for all the other words too, in my opinion.

But either way, Exodus 20:7 says, "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name."

Do you see that part in BOLD? Now, I can only speak for myself here, but I really don't want to find out if "gosh" counts. I am deciding that it counts, for me, and I believe God will honor that decision.

Not only does this stuff matter for my own heart, but I do not know how everyone's relationship with God is. I do not know if my harsh word, or my "joke" will hurt them, will cause them to stumble, will cause them to lose faith...i just don't know. Perhaps it will be an example to them of what all Christians are? Do I want to portray Christians, and worse, my SAVIOR, as sharp, harsh, critical and crass? Ummm nope.

1 Corinthians 10:31-33
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

Read 1 John 2. It is really a good picture of what we are supposed to be.

3 We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4 The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

Do we think Jesus used inappropriate language? Sarcasm? His Father's name in vain? I'm gonna go with NO.

Well I want to be like Jesus.