Isn't it ironic....

or is it?
I am supposed to sing for the Women's Retreat this weekend....and am slated to lead three songs. I was originally going to stay with the band and hang out off campus, but I really felt like God wanted me to go to the retreat as an attendee but still sing. I was worried about the money, but then we got an unexpected check for the exact amount I needed. Way to go, God! :)

So anyway, the retreat starts tomorrow and here I am with no voice. I got some random cold or something yesterday and I am officially mute.

So I have a bunch of people praying that my voice would come back and I'd get better, but this has got me thinking.... perhaps since I am always leading worship I don't get enough chance to enjoy it as a congregant and just focus on me and God?

One might argue that since singing/leading worship is my God given talent, that I would feel more engaged in worship when I am on stage, and that has some truth. BUT, I think there is something special about just being able to relax and attend an event, and get re-filled and rejuvenated.

So I am not necessarily making any commitments either way, but if I wake up with no voice tomorrow morning, I'm going to have to bow out. The funny thing is, the idea of leading three songs myself was exhilarating and nerve-wracking, but now that I may not be on stage AT ALL, I don't feel relief OR disappointment.
I mean, was excited, and it's a bummer not to, but overall I just feel blessed to have been tapped for the job and also feel blessed to be at the retreat in the first place. Either way, God will make this retreat amazing. It is weird to not feel any stress over something like this.

On another note, I was really nervous about roommates. I don't have a ton of friends, and all the ones I do have seemed to be rooming with someone already. I WAS stressing about that, and felt compelled to pray that God would simply put me with the perfect women for me, and I wasn't going to try to find out who beforehand. Well, without even asking, I got put in a room with great friends. :) I am REALLY excited for this weekend. :) I know God has some great plans for me.

Please keep the retreat in your prayers. There have been some extraordinary visions and words of knowledge about this retreat! Pray that God would pour out "...a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over..."